What's another town
To a giant
Just shit between his toes
But who will come to rescue us?
Fuck that, nobody knows
Someone needs to stand up for us
Before we're all toast
Who's the only one that can save us
Who do we love the most

Someone play the Godzilla Flute
We need a hero
Someone needs to call that brute
We need a leader
I almost forgot
Let's call Gladstone the Robot

Portrayed by Dave Coulier
Bad guys will have to pay
And deal with the baddest fucker around
Any time you get the urge
To knock over the Brooklyn Bridge
Just remember Gladstone the Robot is in town

Cut...it...out
He'll plainly tell you
If you don't cut it out
He'll show you
What getting your ass kicked by Bullwinkle is all about
And then you will figure out...

He's our hero
Gladstone the Robot
Well, he'll blow them down
Akukukukukukuk
He's our leader
Gladstone the Robot
The giant blew him down

Gladstone is down
Gladstone is out
For the count
Oh no, we're doomed...
Now that we have no hero
We have no leader
Looks like we must fend for ourself

Gladstone terminated.